Women with too much time on their hands?
Why does this group featured in the New York Times sound like a tedious lot, the likes of which we’re all better off without?
SAN RAFAEL, Calif. - The women gathered in the airy living room, wine poured and pleasantries exchanged. In no time, the conversation turned lively - not about the literary merits of Geraldine Brooks or Cormac McCarthy but the pitfalls of antibacterial hand sanitizers and how to retool the laundry using only cold water and biodegradable detergent during non-prime-time energy hours (after 7 p.m.).
Move over, Tupperware. The EcoMom party has arrived, with its ever-expanding “to do” list that includes preparing waste-free school lunches; lobbying for green building codes; transforming oneself into a “locovore,” eating locally grown food; and remembering not to idle the car when picking up children from school (if one must drive). Here, the small talk is about the volatile compounds emitted by dry-erase markers at school.
Volatile compounds given off by dry erase markers? Bloody hell, teachers have more to worry about in the classroom than supposedly volatile compounds in dry erase markers. These women should be more focused on their childrens’ educations, not the markers. (When was the last time you heard of Death by Dry Erase compounds?) It’s not long before we see hints of the true motivation behind these EcoMoms:
“It’s like eating too many brownies one day and then jogging extra the next,” said Kimberly Danek Pinkson, 38, the founder of the EcoMom Alliance, speaking to the group of efforts to curb eco-guilt through carbon offsets for air travel.
A-ha! Guilt! Not only plain, ordinary guilt, but the insidious eco-guilt. Man, that’s gotta suck. There’s no cure for that, you know. Only treatments. Take five carbon credits and phone me in the morning. These women are screwed. Next thing you know, they’ll be holding sessions in church basements and talking about 12-step programs.
At an EcoMom circle in Palo Alto, executive mothers whipped out spreadsheets to tally their goals, inspired by a 10-step program that urges using only nontoxic products for cleaning, bathing and make-up, as well as cutting down garbage by 10 percent.
“I used to feel anxiety,” said Kathy Miller, 49, an alliance member, recalling life before she started investigating weather-sensitive irrigation controls for her garden with nine growing zones. “Now I feel I’m doing something.”
The notion of “ecoanxiety” has crept into the culture here. It was the subject of a recent cover story in San Francisco magazine that quotes a Berkeley mother so stressed out about the extravagance of her nightly baths that she started to reuse her daughter’s bath water. Where there is ecoanxiety, of course, there are ecotherapists.
Oh, snap! A 10-step program? Spreadsheets to “tally their goals?” Talk about over-engineering your guilt. Kathy Miller takes it to an extreme. She’s gardening with guilt. “Weather-sensitive irrigation controls for her garden with nine growing zones?” I can’t read that without hearing Tim Allen’s voice, followed by his man-grunts.
And then there’s the whole “eco stress” tripe. A mother from Berkeley (well, duh!) can’t enjoy a bath? She takes an “extravagant” nightly bath. Well, first off, I have to wonder about her daily routine if she can afford the time to draw and take a bath every night. We’re talking about an hour or so an evening. She’s a mother, so there’s at least one kid. Presumably dad’s around to watch the daughter while mom’s self-absorbed for that time. If mom works, then she’s gone from say 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. each day. Leaves four to five hours a night with the daughter and family and she’s enjoying a nightly bath. She’s potentially taking up 20 to 25% of her family time so she can enjoy the tranquility and solitude of a nightly bath.
I’m making assumptions in that last graph, I know. Maybe she’s working from home. Maybe she’s not working at all. Maybe her total bath time (drawing, time in tub, getting dried and primped afterwards) is less than an hour. Maybe so. My hunch is still that the eco-guilt is a mask for something else. Something less trendy and hip than a supposed guilt over the environment.
Ladies, don’t go nuts. I’m seeing the housewives from Edward Scissorhands mixed in with bio-degradable trashbags and tofu sandwiches for Skip and Dot’s lunches. It’s a little too Stepford.